The Website of Novelist  Derek Robinson

NEW DEREK ROBINSON NOVEL  - "What a romp!"  
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World War 2 gives up another secret.


How to con a major American intelligence agency for fun and profit.

And get away with it... almost.

Holy $moke
gets warm welcome


“Holy Smoke finds us in Rome at the end of the war, a new location for Robinson but one which has his customary cast of liars, saboteurs and arsonists.  Everyone will have their particular favourite;  one of mine is Captain Ironside, whom I nominate as the statutory ‘awkward bugger’,  a fixture in so many Robinson books.  What is conjured up for our delight is the amorality of a city staggering out of war, in a state of mind which  -  with an almost total disregard of government and law  -  enabled Italy to slip from Fascism to democracy.  I loved it and thought it a perfect topic and cast for the Robinson treatment. My one disappointment  -   the Albanian dwarves were an authorial invention.”   
 
                                                                          Graham Thorne  
For a full review of Holy $moke by Bill Stroud, click:
http://stroudallover.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/holy-moke-by-derek-robinson.html

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       HOLY $MOKE NOW AVAILABLE

                                                         6 in U.K. inc postage
                                                      8 in Europe, inc airmail
                                             9 in Rest of the World, inc airmail

                                    To order, email me at delrobster@gmail.com
                                                   Please tell me where you are.
 


A heartwarming comedy of deceit, deception, power-seeking and
revenge, set in the liberated Rome of 1944.  Based on fact. Similar
 to my Luis Cabrillo  novels, but completely different.  No aircraft.
 Many jokes.  Self published - a slim volume, only 170 pages,
which explains the low price.

Here's a taste of page 1. We're in the Pentagon in 1944.


               “Albanian dwarves,” General Donovan said. “Dwarves from Albania. Interesting.” 

                He was walking along a wide and busy corridor. With him were a colonel, Randall Stuart, and a major, Fred Stoner.  Stuart had just outlined a plan to
infiltrate into Albania a number of male dwarves who were fluent in the language and the customs of the country.  Their task would be to sabotage German army
 
communications and to stimulate Albanian partisans. Stuart said that dwarves had an inbuilt advantage as secret agents because nobody suspected them..

                                                      *************
                                                                             


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 Quick Links
:                      


  RFC Books   RAF Books   Luis Cabrillo Books  Other Novels    Bristol Books  

                                                                                   Readers Write #52 September 2017

Beefeaters and ballyhoo,

                  my life as a travelling blacksmith,

                                                                  and me and Bill Gates

               Here’s a question.  How would you like to have the International Socrates Award?  You don’t speak Greek?  Okay, you want to have the Manager of the Year Award?  Or get the Queen Victoria Commemorative Award? Or the Best Cities Award?  Or join the International Club of Leaders?  Listen, you deserve it. A man of your skills and achievements needs an Oxford certificate on the wall. No hassle, no sweat, just sign the cheque. 3000 for the award, or if you want to push the boat out, there’s a VIP package with lots of exciting add-ons for only 9,300.   

 

   Look, don’t thank me, and certainly don’t try to thank the University of Oxford, which has absolutely nothing to do with this circus. Thank Anton Savvov and his son Ivan, who run the Europe Business Assembly from an office in Kharkov, Ukraine,  which is a long way from Oxford.  That didn’t stop them hiring Oxford Town Hall for a black-tie  gathering where contributing guests from far corners of the globe flew in to enjoy the Socrates Award Ceremony.  The decor was reassuringly British.  There was champagne, a red carpet, a Scots bagpiper, and a man in a Beefeater costume.  You get a lot of ballyhoo for 9,300.  And, of course, a certificate on the wall.  What you don’t get is any recognition from the University of Oxford.  It doesn’t sell awards. 

 

    Many of the recipients came from developing countries, places where you can often buy credentials for cash.  If they think the awards are from Oxford and that means the University, don’t blame Anton Savvov.  He’s running a legitimate business. That Beefeater’s costume was 100% genuine.  Take it from me.  I’ve been swatting away big-money certificates all my working life.  Some of the awards I turned down make Kharkov’s finest look like chickenfeed. And at a fraction of the price.  

 

   It all began in 1971.  In that year’s Booker Prize I came second, or so Saul Bellow, one of the judges, said.  No money for me, of course, but I was briefly a minor celeb, and suddenly the International Biographical Centre (IBC), based in Cambridge,  wanted to include me in their International Who’s Who in Poetry.  Two problems:  the book cost 18, which I didn’t have, and I hadn’t written a line of poetry.  

 

    Their entry form was a bit of a challenge, too.  My education lacked the sparkle that you expect  a top international poet to have, so I spiced it up with a spell at the Spanish Academy in Vienna.  That’s where they train those Lipizzaner horses to prance on their hind legs. Next came Positions Held.  The truth was none, so I wrote: ‘Self-employed travelling blacksmith’.  Let’s face it, not enough poets are out in the countryside, practising the noble art of the farrier and dreaming up rhymes for ‘horseshoe’.  I added a few more inventions and mailed the form.

 

   IBC printed the lot. Now I was a registered poet. I scraped together a fiver and bought their Certificate of Merit (‘For Distinguished Contributions to Poetry’)  and hung it in the loo where it covered the damp patch and impressed the hell out of visitors.  And it spawned a steady supply of letters from other publishers,  all keen to celebrate my expanding celebrity.  (Maybe they swap mailing lists.)    

 

   IBC wanted me for their book Men of Achievement.  Debrett’s urged me to be included in People of Today, Burke’s Peerage liked me for World Book of Robinsons, and the American Biographical Institute  reckoned I was ripe for their Personality of the Year, and  -  flatteringly  -   Great Minds of the 21st Century.  

 

   All those wonderful people had one thing in common.  They wanted money, usually at a special saving. I could get into Debrett’s  People of Today for a very reasonable 99. A place in Men of Achievement would set me back 75 or, with my name on the de luxe cover, 295.  Rubbing shoulders with Great Minds of the 21st Century meant coughing up $395 for the book, which would give details of ‘how your great mind has worked to influence and pave the way for many individuals’. Or I could order the Great Minds Medal, ‘finished in a radiant golden tone’, at only $595.  

 

    The mail kept coming, year after year.  Some I binned.  Some got the Walter Mitty treatment. My employment record flowered:  I had been a roustabout, crop-duster, bit-part actor, plumber’s mate, football referee, bartender and demolition worker.  Under ‘Creative Works’ I listed five novels, one each in French, Dutch, Swedish, Spanish and Greek.  For ‘Honours’, I created the eminent Theta Phi Omega award.  If it doesn’t exist, then it ought to, and I deserved it as much as the next poet.  Or non-poet.

 

   No publisher ever questioned my claims. Several reference books listed them.  Nobody quizzed me about my career as a private secretary to Lord Lucan.  I even told them I was an expert in literary fraud, and no eyebrows were raised.  Finally, I almost bought a book from Baron’s, a highpowered American business publisher.  They offered me a full page in The Baron’s 500: Leaders for the New Century,  with a portrait photograph;  and to make me salivate they sent a sample page. It showed a smiling Bill Gates.  Hey!  Bill and I were two of 500 leaders taking the world into the 21st century!  

 

   Me and BIll: a dream team.  Just one hitch.  Baron’s wanted $895 in advance.  No cash, no book.  Another great idea got the chop, and world leaders were the poorer by one.  They’ll be sorry. 

 

                                                            *******

  Meanwhile, in the real world, copies of Holy Smoke have been flying to all corners.  (A few are left.  When they’re gone, they’re gone.) Books have gone to readers in Canada, Australia, Norway, Holland, Connecticut, Michigan, Texas.  Joe in Texas sent an order and added:  “Just to say again I have enjoyed many of your books.  I am glad you continue to share your talent with us.”  Well, writers are nothing without readers, Joe, so you have my thanks.  

 

  Not surprisingly, most orders are from within the UK.  James in London read Holy Smoke and emailed me:  “Thoroughly enjoyed your book. I suspect it was quite entertaining researching it.”  (True:  life in 1944 Rome was highly improbable.)  He wrote:  “I like the comment at the very end regarding Rome traffic lights.  I remember my mother returning from a trip to Rome when I was about 18  -  “You should go to Rome, they drive like you.”  Neil in Nottingham not only bought two Holy Smokes,  he also told his friends and colleagues about it. Steve in Middlesex sent an order and added: “My favourite author by a long chalk.”  Julia in Hertfordshire asked for a signed copy to go with her complete collection of my novels.  Which is nice to know.  And   -   surprise, surprise   -   Tilman, a 16-year-old student in Regensburg, Germany, is reading my War Story. He’s writing a paper on it for a seminar.  He asked, in excellent English, some questions about the story.  I was glad to help, and I look forward to his thoughts 

My thanks to all who wrote.      Derek Robinson                                                                        

Previous Readers Write

 

Why 1914




































Why 1914?
 

Why 1914? is "the best short introduction to the causes of the first world war I have come across.  Derek Robinson is as vivid and trustworthy a historian as he is a novelist.”
                                Nicholas Lezard - The Guardian

Here's a taste of what you get:

“The Black Hand recruited Gavrilo Princip and two others to murder the Archduke.  All three young men had incurable tuberculosis. They were ordered to kill themselves when the Archduke was dead. Phials of cyanide were handed out. What could possibly go wrong? In the event, everything.  Especially the cyanide.”

"To find war news in July 1914 you have to look at Ireland.  Home Rule had been passed.  Ulster, largely Protestant, detested the Catholic south.  Gun-running was on an industrial scale.  The government was trapped in an Irish bog.”

"In 1914, Kaiser William II, commanding the most powerful army in Europe, was not so much a loose cannon as a whole battery of loose cannons.”

"Admiral Tirpitz, Navy Minister, held the job for 19 years and followed one plan throughout his career:  more battleships, and then more battleships.  The Kaiser said that ‘with every new German battleship there was laid a fresh pledge for peace’.  Yet Tirpitz was using his battleships to frighten Britain into silence.”

"On 15 August 1914, Lieutenant Bernard Montgomery wrote in his diary: ‘At least the thing will be over in three weeks."

”If Germany seized the Channel ports, this would be hugely damaging to Britain’s strategic position. Britain went to war for Belgium’s sake, and for her own.”

"In 1914 the German army did not talk to the German navy.  For eight days in August an armada of ships transported the British army to France without disturbance.”

"The British infantry’s  name for its rapid rifle-fire was ‘mad minute’: a trained rifleman could fire fifteen rounds a minute.  This was often mistaken for machine-gun fire.”

"Confidence of success fuelled German troops’ drive for victory.  All Germany shared this confidence:  friends and family wrote letters to German soldiers with the address ‘in or near Paris’. (The postal service being neutral, sacks of this mail reached Paris.)”

"Winning the Battle of Ypres gave the Allies no strategic advantage but it became a heroic trophy simply  because Germany wanted it so badly.”

    The Paperback is available only directly from the author
                                  Prices


In UK                                              8
In Europe                                         10
Rest  of World                                 12.50

Preferred payment method  -  PayPal
Email your order to me at delrobster@gmail.com and you will receive a Payment Request.  Then all you need is a credit card to pay into my PayPal account.

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Click here to read
Elizabeth Ballmer's review
Why 1914?
   is now also available as an Amazon E-book.

Click here for details






Mentioned in Despatches

Nicholas Lezard in The Guardian chooses Why 1914 as one of his Paperbacks of the Year, writing: "The novelist Derek Robinson, 82 this year, just keeps going, and his prose is as sharp and sprightly as ever (there is something of Evelyn Waugh about its economy and grip)...   This year he has written and self-published the best introduction to the causes of the  first world war, Why 1914?, I have come across.  He is as vivid and trustworthy a historian as he is a novelist."

Robert Allison  puts A Good Clean Fight in his top 10 of desert warfare novels, saying, “Well above genre standards,  thanks to its energetic storytelling, its wealth of factual detail , and the author’s trademark gallows humour."                                                                                           Click to read the full article.

Reviewing A Splendid Little War, Nick Lezard writes: "Robinson has pulled off a remarkable coup. It's as bleakly intelligent as anything he has done but he has
also increased our historical understanding."
                                                                         
Click to read the full review.

Describing Derek Robinson's war novels, Antonia Senior said: "No one writes about war quite like Robinson, despite attempts to shroud him in echoes of other writers, such as Joseph Heller or Norman Mailer. He writes with a bleak savagery, in controlled, precise prose. There is humour – and it is dark and painful. There is love – and it is inadequate and messy. Most of all there is death. It comes from clear blue skies and grey clouds, from enemy fire and friendly mistakes. It
hovers, unseen, at  15,000 feet."
                                                                           Click to read the full article.

                                                            
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 A Splendid Little War is now available in paperback. 


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It's 1919. The  Great War is over but a civil war is raging in Russia.  Bolshevik Reds are fighting White Russians, and a volunteer R.A.F. squadron, flying clapped-out Sopwith Camels and DH9 bombers, arrives to duff up the Reds.  But the 'splendid little war' they are promised turns out to be big and brutal, a world of armoured train, anarchist guerillas, unreliable allies and pitiless enemies.  There is comedy, but it is the bleakest kind. A Splendid Little War shows war as it is: grim, funny, moving - but never splendid.

Reviews of A Splendid Little War
      The Daily Express
             American edition of GQ Magazine
                               The Independent                        
                                           










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DR_Who He?   When someone at a party asks what I do, I say I write Ripping Yarns.  It's a quick answer but a very incomplete one. I'm best known for my novels about the Royal Flying Corps and the Royal Air Force in the two World Wars and some might say the books are highly readable adventure stories.  Nothing wrong with that, but there's more than combat in the high blue yonder   -   there's also memorable characters, there's unexpected twists and turns of warfare,  and there's aircrew humour.   Especially the humour.  I did my National Service in the Royal Air Force.  I was never airborne; I was in a Ground Control Interception Unit, deep underground in a concrete bunker.  But I learned a lot about the special humour of flying people,  and it emerges naturally and unavoidably in my novels. Humour is one of the essential colours in the spectrum of life. You don't make a story more serious by removing the humour; you just make it less true.

The longer I do this job, the luckier I know I am.  For a start, I'm English and the English language is global. That's pure luck of birth. I might have been born in Hungary.  There are good Hungarian writers,  but it's a lot easier for me to find readers throughout the English-speaking world.  And I was lucky to have literate parents.  When I grew up there were always books and magazines about the house, unlike some other kids' homes. There was a good public library at the end of the street.  And there was the 1944 Education Act which created State Scholarships for bright lads and helped me get into Cambridge.
 
That's where I learned to write boringly. I was writing to impress, not to inform. Twelve years in advertising agencies (London and New York) kicked the crap out of my style. Every word had to work hard. I wrote ad copy and commercials for everything from Esso petrol to The Wall Street Journal.  Always I knew I wanted to move on, to be a fulltime writer  -  but I had nothing to say.  Nothing worth reading, anyway. (I was a late developer.) I wrote two bad and unpublishable novels and finally got it right with a story called Goshawk Squadron. Might have won the Booker Prize if Saul Bellow, one of the judges, had had his way. Not important. "The most readable novel of the year," Nina Bawden said of Goshawk in the Daily Telegraph. "I laughed aloud several times, and was in the end reduced to tears." That's worth more than any prize. The first novel bought me enough time to write the second, and so it goes. Lucky me.
                

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                                  MacLeHose_Logo             
MacLehose Press (an imprint of Quercus Books) has published all of my flying novels  -  four Royal Flying Corps books and four Royal Air Force books.  Here are the new covers: 
 
      pce cake       hullo russia        A Good Clean Fight       Damned Good Show_new

                war story_new              hornets sting_new            goshawk squadron_new              

Click here to go to the MacLeHose website. where you can click on their individual covers for  purchase options, including e-books.
 
This will be the first time that all my flying titles are in print from the same publisher:  something that gives me great satisfaction. Equally satisfying is the work of Tony Cowland, who has painted the cover illustrations for all the books. Each cover looks dramatically different, yet together they have a family likeness. They form a splendid collection, and they appeared at The Mall Galleries (near Admiralty Arch)  in the Aviation Paintings of the Year Exhibition by the Guild of Aviation Artists. The standard was high. My congratulations to Tony on a memorable achievement.
Photo.DR&AC
Artist and Author  
Photograph: Chris French

SALES

MORE GOOD NEWS
All four of the Luis Cabrillo novels (following the career of  probably the best WW2 double agent and later con-man) are now available as eBooks from Amazon/Kindle. Here are the covers:

                              Artillery                  RedRag                 OpBam 
                            Click on a cover to go to the Amazon sales page.

The R.F.C. trilogy and the R.A.F. Quartet are also available as e-books.
                                                                                     


OPERATION BAMBOOZLE

 

        'Operation Bamboozle' is a fastmoving black comedy about what happens when a high-stakes con artist takes on the Mob in Los Angeles.  The result is a heady brew of disorganised crime, hot dollars, triple virgins and dead bodies in the begonias.   

         Luis Cabrillo is the con artist, Julie Conroy is his squeeze, and here's the opening sentence:   

      For a man who had been hauled out of Lake Michigan in 1949, headless, his legs and arms broken, and stabbed in the heart with a red ballpoint pen, Frankie Blanco was in pretty good shape in 1953.  

  
Click to see the News of the World Review

              FIRST TIME IN PAPERBACK

                        RED RAG BLUES                                                  

  He's a heel, bless him. 

 Luis Cabrillo rides again in this "dashing tale of Nazis and Mafiosi", as The Observer called it. 
In fact, Nazis and Mafiosi play second fiddle to the real dynamo in this story.  It's 1953, and Senator Joe McCarthy's witchhunt for Reds under beds is scaring America witless.

Cue Luis Cabrillo, ex-double agent, now con artist supreme. Dollars flow, hotly pursued by bullets. Luis doesn't know it, but FBI, MI5, KGB and CIA have him firmly in their sights. Not to mention Stevie, the only three-times married virgin in New York City.  This is a rich, fast and very black comedy.



(To read the full Observer review, click here.) 



                                                         Copyright
MacLehose Press (an imprint of Quercus Books) owns the book rights to all my RFC and RAF novels.  Sam Goldwyn Jr  owns the screen rights to Goshawk Squadron. In 1988, LWT made a six-part television series of Piece of Cake and they own the rights to that production.  I own the screen rights to any remake of Piece of Cake.  I own the screen rights to all my other novels. Quercus Books owns the e-book rights to all my fiction backlist, available through Amazon/Kindle.  Derek Robinson

Contact       I welcome comments and views about my books, though as a working writer I can't guarantee to have sufficient time to answer everyone.  

Click here to send me an email 

Main publications     Click any group heading to see details.

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The RFC Quartet (WW1)
         pce cake          A Good Clean Fight          Damned Good Show_new           hullo russia          
                             The RAF Quartet (WW2)
                 
The Double Agent Quartet
                          why1914thmnl     Holy Smoke      
Other Novels/History
      
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Rugby Books

                      PureBristleCvr
Bristol Books

Availability of the books.   

All my fiction is available as e-books.  Maclehose Press publish (in print) all eight of my flying novels, available from any good book seller (who may have to order a copy). Or you  could try the websites listed below, often useful for tracking down both new and used books. 

 The two Bristle books, and A Darker Side of Bristol are published by Countryside Books .
Finally, I have a few copies of Pure Bristle, available at 2 each. 
Quercus Books  Amazon UK      Amazon USA      Fantastic Fiction   

Other websites you may find of interest:

   Wikipedia     IMDB     Jeremy Northam Blog   

Major books and original publication dates:

1971 Goshawk Squadron
1973 Rotten with Honour
1977 Kramer's War
1979 The Eldorado Network
1983 Piece of Cake
1987 War Story
1991 Artillery of Lies
1993 A Good Clean Fight

1999 Hornet's Sting
2002 Damned Good Show
2002 Kentucky Blues
2005 Invasion 1940
2005 Red Rag Blues
2008 Hullo Russia, Goodbye England
2009 Operation Bamboozle
2013 A Splendid Little War


2014  Why 1914?

2017  Holy $moke