NEW DEREK ROBINSON NOVEL - "What a romp!"
Holy $moke gets warm welcome
“Holy Smoke finds us in Rome at the end of the war, a new location for Robinson but one which has his customary cast of liars, saboteurs and arsonists. Everyone will have their particular favourite; one of mine is Captain Ironside, whom I nominate as the statutory ‘awkward bugger’, a fixture in so many Robinson books. What is conjured up for our delight is the amorality of a city staggering out of war, in a state of mind which - with an almost total disregard of government and law - enabled Italy to slip from Fascism to democracy. I loved it and thought it a perfect topic and cast for the Robinson treatment. My one disappointment - the Albanian dwarves were an authorial invention.”
Graham ThorneFor a full review of Holy $moke by Bill Stroud, click:
HOLY $MOKE NOW AVAILABLE
£6 in U.K. inc postage
£8 in Europe, inc airmail
£9 in Rest of the World, inc airmail
To order, email me at email@example.com
Please tell me where you are.
Beefeaters and ballyhoo,
my life as a travelling blacksmith,and me and Bill Gates
Here’s a question. How would you like to have the International Socrates
Award? You don’t speak Greek? Okay, you want to have the Manager of
the Year Award? Or get the Queen Victoria Commemorative Award? Or the
Best Cities Award? Or join the International Club of Leaders?
Listen, you deserve it. A man of your skills and achievements needs an
Look, don’t thank me, and certainly don’t try
to thank the
Many of the recipients came from
developing countries, places where you can often buy credentials for
cash. If they think the awards are from
It all began in 1971. In that year’s Booker Prize I came second, or so Saul Bellow, one of the judges, said. No money for me, of course, but I was briefly a minor celeb, and suddenly the International Biographical Centre (IBC), based in Cambridge, wanted to include me in their International Who’s Who in Poetry. Two problems: the book cost £18, which I didn’t have, and I hadn’t written a line of poetry.
Their entry form was a bit of a
challenge, too. My education lacked the sparkle that you expect a
top international poet to have, so I spiced it up with a spell at the
IBC printed the lot. Now I was a registered poet. I scraped together a fiver and bought their Certificate of Merit (‘For Distinguished Contributions to Poetry’) and hung it in the loo where it covered the damp patch and impressed the hell out of visitors. And it spawned a steady supply of letters from other publishers, all keen to celebrate my expanding celebrity. (Maybe they swap mailing lists.)
IBC wanted me for their book Men of Achievement. Debrett’s urged me to be included in People of Today, Burke’s Peerage liked me for World Book of Robinsons, and the American Biographical Institute reckoned I was ripe for their Personality of the Year, and - flatteringly - Great Minds of the 21st Century.
All those wonderful people had one thing in common. They wanted money, usually at a special saving. I could get into Debrett’s People of Today for a very reasonable £99. A place in Men of Achievement would set me back £75 or, with my name on the de luxe cover, £295. Rubbing shoulders with Great Minds of the 21st Century meant coughing up $395 for the book, which would give details of ‘how your great mind has worked to influence and pave the way for many individuals’. Or I could order the Great Minds Medal, ‘finished in a radiant golden tone’, at only $595.
The mail kept coming, year after year. Some I binned. Some got the Walter Mitty treatment. My employment record flowered: I had been a roustabout, crop-duster, bit-part actor, plumber’s mate, football referee, bartender and demolition worker. Under ‘Creative Works’ I listed five novels, one each in French, Dutch, Swedish, Spanish and Greek. For ‘Honours’, I created the eminent Theta Phi Omega award. If it doesn’t exist, then it ought to, and I deserved it as much as the next poet. Or non-poet.
No publisher ever questioned my claims. Several reference books listed them. Nobody quizzed me about my career as a private secretary to Lord Lucan. I even told them I was an expert in literary fraud, and no eyebrows were raised. Finally, I almost bought a book from Baron’s, a highpowered American business publisher. They offered me a full page in The Baron’s 500: Leaders for the New Century, with a portrait photograph; and to make me salivate they sent a sample page. It showed a smiling Bill Gates. Hey! Bill and I were two of 500 leaders taking the world into the 21st century!
Me and BIll: a dream team. Just one hitch. Baron’s wanted $895 in advance. No cash, no book. Another great idea got the chop, and world leaders were the poorer by one. They’ll be sorry.
Meanwhile, in the real world, copies of Holy
Smoke have been flying to all corners. (A few are left. When
they’re gone, they’re gone.) Books have gone to readers in
Not surprisingly, most orders are from within the
My thanks to all who wrote. Derek Robinson
is "the best short introduction to the causes of the first world war I
have come across. Derek Robinson is as vivid and trustworthy a historian as
he is a novelist.”
Here's a taste of what you get:
“The Black Hand recruited Gavrilo Princip and two others to murder the Archduke. All three young men had incurable tuberculosis. They were ordered to kill themselves when the Archduke was dead. Phials of cyanide were handed out. What could possibly go wrong? In the event, everything. Especially the cyanide.”
"To find war news in July 1914 you have to look at Ireland. Home Rule had been passed. Ulster, largely Protestant, detested the Catholic south. Gun-running was on an industrial scale. The government was trapped in an Irish bog.”
"In 1914, Kaiser William II, commanding the most powerful army in Europe, was not so much a loose cannon as a whole battery of loose cannons.”
"Admiral Tirpitz, Navy Minister, held the job for 19 years and followed one plan throughout his career: more battleships, and then more battleships. The Kaiser said that ‘with every new German battleship there was laid a fresh pledge for peace’. Yet Tirpitz was using his battleships to frighten Britain into silence.”"On 15 August 1914, Lieutenant Bernard Montgomery wrote in his diary: ‘At least the thing will be over in three weeks."
”If Germany seized the Channel ports, this would be hugely damaging to Britain’s strategic position. Britain went to war for Belgium’s sake, and for her own.”
"In 1914 the German army did not talk to the German navy. For eight days in August an armada of ships transported the British army to France without disturbance.”
"The British infantry’s name for its rapid rifle-fire was ‘mad minute’: a trained rifleman could fire fifteen rounds a minute. This was often mistaken for machine-gun fire.”
"Confidence of success fuelled German troops’ drive for victory. All Germany shared this confidence: friends and family wrote letters to German soldiers with the address ‘in or near Paris’. (The postal service being neutral, sacks of this mail reached Paris.)”
"Winning the Battle of Ypres gave the Allies no strategic advantage but it became a heroic trophy simply because Germany wanted it so badly.”
The Paperback is available only directly from the author
In UK £8
In Europe £10
Rest of World £12.50
Preferred payment method - PayPalEmail your order to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and you will receive a Payment Request. Then all you need is a credit card to pay into my PayPal account.
Click here to read
Elizabeth Ballmer's review
is now also available as an Amazon E-book.
Click here for details
|Mentioned in Despatches
Nicholas Lezard in The Guardian chooses Why 1914 as one of his Paperbacks of the Year, writing: "The novelist Derek Robinson, 82 this year, just keeps going, and his prose is as sharp and sprightly as ever (there is something of Evelyn Waugh about its economy and grip)... This year he has written and self-published the best introduction to the causes of the first world war, Why 1914?, I have come across. He is as vivid and trustworthy a historian as he is a novelist."
Robert Allison puts A Good Clean Fight in his top 10 of desert warfare novels, saying, “Well above genre standards, thanks to its energetic storytelling, its wealth of factual detail , and the author’s trademark gallows humour." Click to read the full article.
Reviewing A Splendid Little War, Nick Lezard writes: "Robinson has pulled off a remarkable coup. It's as bleakly intelligent as anything he has done but he has
also increased our historical understanding."
Click to read the full review.
Describing Derek Robinson's war novels, Antonia Senior said: "No one writes about war quite like Robinson, despite attempts to shroud him in echoes of other writers, such as Joseph Heller or Norman Mailer. He writes with a bleak savagery, in controlled, precise prose. There is humour – and it is dark and painful. There is love – and it is inadequate and messy. Most of all there is death. It comes from clear blue skies and grey clouds, from enemy fire and friendly mistakes. It hovers, unseen, at 15,000 feet."
Click to read the full article.
When someone at a party asks what I do, I say I write Ripping Yarns. It's a quick answer but a very incomplete one. I'm best known for my novels about the Royal Flying Corps and the Royal Air Force in the two World Wars and some might say the books are highly readable adventure stories. Nothing wrong with that, but there's more than combat in the high blue yonder - there's also memorable characters, there's unexpected twists and turns of warfare, and there's aircrew humour. Especially the humour. I did my National Service in the Royal Air Force. I was never airborne; I was in a Ground Control Interception Unit, deep underground in a concrete bunker. But I learned a lot about the special humour of flying people, and it emerges naturally and unavoidably in my novels. Humour is one of the essential colours in the spectrum of life. You don't make a story more serious by removing the humour; you just make it less true.
The longer I do this job, the luckier I know I am. For a start, I'm English and the English language is global. That's pure luck of birth. I might have been born in Hungary. There are good Hungarian writers, but it's a lot easier for me to find readers throughout the English-speaking world. And I was lucky to have literate parents. When I grew up there were always books and magazines about the house, unlike some other kids' homes. There was a good public library at the end of the street. And there was the 1944 Education Act which created State Scholarships for bright lads and helped me get into Cambridge.
That's where I learned to write boringly. I was writing to impress, not to inform. Twelve years in advertising agencies (London and New York) kicked the crap out of my style. Every word had to work hard. I wrote ad copy and commercials for everything from Esso petrol to The Wall Street Journal. Always I knew I wanted to move on, to be a fulltime writer - but I had nothing to say. Nothing worth reading, anyway. (I was a late developer.) I wrote two bad and unpublishable novels and finally got it right with a story called Goshawk Squadron. Might have won the Booker Prize if Saul Bellow, one of the judges, had had his way. Not important. "The most readable novel of the year," Nina Bawden said of Goshawk in the Daily Telegraph. "I laughed aloud several times, and was in the end reduced to tears." That's worth more than any prize. The first novel bought me enough time to write the second, and so it goes. Lucky me..
MacLehose Press (an imprint of Quercus Books) has published all of my flying novels - four Royal Flying Corps books and four Royal Air Force books. Here are the new covers:
Click here to go to the MacLeHose website. where you can click on their individual covers for purchase options, including e-books.
This will be the first time that all my flying titles are in print from the same publisher: something that gives me great satisfaction. Equally satisfying is the work of Tony Cowland, who has painted the cover illustrations for all the books. Each cover looks dramatically different, yet together they have a family likeness. They form a splendid collection, and they appeared at The Mall Galleries (near Admiralty Arch) in the Aviation Paintings of the Year Exhibition by the Guild of Aviation Artists. The standard was high. My congratulations to Tony on a memorable achievement.
Artist and Author
Photograph: Chris French
FIRST TIME IN PAPERBACK
RED RAG BLUES
He's a heel, bless him.
Luis Cabrillo rides again in this "dashing tale of Nazis and Mafiosi", as The Observer called it.
In fact, Nazis and Mafiosi play second fiddle to the real dynamo in this story. It's 1953, and Senator Joe McCarthy's witchhunt for Reds under beds is scaring America witless.
Cue Luis Cabrillo, ex-double agent, now con artist supreme. Dollars flow, hotly pursued by bullets. Luis doesn't know it, but FBI, MI5, KGB and CIA have him firmly in their sights. Not to mention Stevie, the only three-times married virgin in New York City. This is a rich, fast and very black comedy.
(To read the full Observer review, click here.)
CopyrightMacLehose Press (an imprint of Quercus Books) owns the book rights to all my RFC and RAF novels. Sam Goldwyn Jr owns the screen rights to Goshawk Squadron. In 1988, LWT made a six-part television series of Piece of Cake and they own the rights to that production. I own the screen rights to any remake of Piece of Cake. I own the screen rights to all my other novels. Quercus Books owns the e-book rights to all my fiction backlist, available through Amazon/Kindle. Derek Robinson
Contact I welcome comments and views about my books, though as a working writer I can't guarantee to have sufficient time to answer everyone.
Main publications Click any group heading to see details.
The RAF Quartet (WW2)
All my fiction is available as e-books. Maclehose Press publish (in print) all eight of my flying novels, available from any good book seller (who may have to order a copy). Or you could try the websites listed below, often useful for tracking down both new and used books.
Other websites you may find of interest:
1973 Rotten with Honour
1977 Kramer's War
1979 The Eldorado Network
1983 Piece of Cake
1987 War Story
1991 Artillery of Lies
1993 A Good Clean Fight
1999 Hornet's Sting
|2002 Damned Good Show
2002 Kentucky Blues
2005 Invasion 1940
2005 Red Rag Blues
2008 Hullo Russia, Goodbye England
2009 Operation Bamboozle
2013 A Splendid Little War
2014 Why 1914?
2017 Holy $moke